Online bullying and safety

For most young people, the friends they have online are the same friends they have offline. However, they are also connecting with people they don’t know often from anywhere around the world where they share an interest in playing online games, such as ‘Fortnite’. Either way, people online should be treated with the same level of respect and consideration as they would if they were in the same room.

Many people act differently online than they would offline. Many children and young people do not believe they can be identified for bullying online and do not fully appreciate how permanent their online communication is. Ask your child to reflect on, ‘Would you say this if the person was sitting in front of you?’ If they answer no, you can ask them to consider not sending it. If they are receiving unwanted or abusive messages, make sure that they know that this is unacceptable and that they could report, block, mute or unfriend anyone.

Without the ability to read gestures, facial expressions (even with emojis!) and tone of voice, it can be easy to misinterpret what is seen on the screen. For example, typing in capital letters can often be seen as shouting. Young people may need help to understand the impact of what they mean, and what they actually write.

There is no such things as anonymity online. Everything sent and posted can be traced - a fake email or social media account will have a unique IP address from the service provider, and text messages can be traced though a SIM card. It is important that children and young people are aware of the consequences of posting messages online, both in the short-term and in future. Potential employers have rejected candidates on the basis of the content of their online persona, disclosed prejudices and choice of language.

Young people should not give out personal information about themselves or others online. Nor should they share private passwords with anyone, even those they trust. Keeping passwords secure ensures no third party can access your child’s online accounts.

Make your child aware of what will happen if they find themselves being bullied online. Some young people will be reluctant to come forward for fear of losing access to the internet, or that their phones/game consoles will be taken away. Be mindful of this and remember that bullying is a behaviour displayed by people; it is not a technology issue.

Take an active interest and show positivity and curiosity around how your child uses the internet, what they do online, what sites they use and why. Having general conversations about this can open up lines of communication to discuss deeper issues, and can provide you with a valuable insight into your child’s online and mobile phone activity.

Together with your child, come to an agreement about their online activity and what will happen if it is misused in any way. These might be restrictions around screen time limits, chatrooms, evening cut-offs, sharing images or no-go sites. This will help create a good baseline and may prevent issues in the future.

Most social networks (apps) allow users to report communications that they consider to be illegal, threatening, offensive, harassing or bullying in nature. The networks do not have capacity to monitor all profiles, so they rely on people using reporting tools as a way of policing the site. Managing parental settings can be daunting for some, and it can be tempting to let your child(ren) get on with it themselves, but taking the time to understand how you can make their online spaces safer will help you all feel more confident in responding to an issue if it arises.

Download a CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre) app that stays visible on the webpage and can be clicked to instantly report abuse or get advice.