Raising a concern
Approaching a school or other organisation about a bullying incident may seem like a daunting prospect – but remember it’s in everyone’s best interests to help resolve the situation and reach a satisfactory outcome.
Firstly, ask the school/organisation for a copy of their anti-bullying policy, which you have a right to access. If the school doesn’t have one, the Local Authority policy will apply and can be found searching the relevant Local Authority website.
The policy should set out for you what you can expect around how bullying is responded to, timescales and how you will be kept informed. We cannot become involved in the detail of individual cases, however if you need help to understand or navigate the policy landscape contact us at enquire@respectme.org.uk.
Once you’ve had a good read over the Policy, make an appointment to speak to the Class Teacher, Head Teacher or Senior Youth Worker. At this meeting you should be given an opportunity to outline your concerns, discuss what and your child would like to happen next and how you can proceed together.
It is helpful to be prepared for these discussions, so be ready to discuss:
- The behaviour that concerns you
- The impact it has had
- What you are going to support your child
- What plan does the school/organisation have in place to respond to the situation?
Remember that bullying is a breach of children’s rights and should never go unchecked. Children and young people may open up to those they believe can or will help them. Adults in a school or youth settings can always respond in a supportive way.
Top tips
Make an appointment
Make an appointment to speak to the Class Teacher, Head Teacher or Senior Youth Worker/Sport Coach etc, or any other adult that your child feels comfortable with.
Ensure that you are clear that you wish to raise concerns over bullying behaviours that you believe have been displayed towards your child.
Prepare
Go to the meeting prepared. Look at the school/youth group anti-bullying policy in advance - has policy been followed?
Gather dates of when the incidents have taken place with your child in advance and what took place.
The template listed below may be helpful with this.
Investigation
Following the meeting, allow the school/youth group some time to investigate – this may involve them speaking to those concerned to understand the situation.
What next?
Discuss what you would like to happen next and how you can proceed together.
If your child has experienced an incident at school ask for this to be recorded onto SEEMiS.
Assessment
You can request that an assessment of needs is pulled together to support your child going forward to ensure they feel safe and supported to help ensure that bullying is being taken seriously and responded to.
What they shouldn’t do
A school or organisation should not suggest that the bullying is your child’s fault. They should not immediately suggest changing classes, or moving schools, as a solution, nor should they claim that the bullying is not their responsibility.
Bullying happens ‘to’ a person first and foremost. People who are bullied carry the impact with them, wherever they are. If they inform someone at school, at the youth group or anywhere else that something’s happened and that they’re worried or scared, adults must respond in a supportive way. Children and young people tend to open up to the people they believe can and will help them.
Don’t expect the situation to be fully resolved at the first meeting, that won’t always be possible. Neither should you expect the person(s) involved to be automatically excluded. Exclusion alone will rarely change bullying behaviour. Schools and other organisations often employ a variety of methods to prevent and respond to bullying; some will have an immediate effect, others may take longer.
They will also need time to investigate the incidents, so agree a plan of action and set a date to meet again to review the situation. Keep in touch with them and be a ‘pushy parent’ if you need to be, but try to keep the relationship on a positive and respectful basis – this will be more beneficial to all parties in the long run.
If the bullying is happening in the community and you need to talk to a neighbour or another parent, do so tactfully and carefully. Again, it’s important to keep the channels of communication open – and remember your child will probably want the situation resolved with the minimum of fuss.
Taking further action
If, following a process of engagement between yourself, the school, and your child, you are dissatisfied that sufficient action has been taken to stop the bullying from continuing, there are some additional steps you can take:
Contact your local authority. Only after raising the matter with the school concerned, and being dissatisfied with the response, can you escalate the matter to your Local Authority. You can access their Complaints Procedure on their website and follow the process from there.
If upon response you continue to be dissatisfied, you can contact the Scottish Public Services Ombudsman (SPSO) to log a complaint about a school or Local Authority if you have a serious concern that a bullying issue has not been fully addressed and remains unresolved.
Helpful tools
We have created two templates which can support Parents and Carers to record and monitor responses to bullying when reported.
Recording Bullying Template 1 – to gather information
This template can help you to gather information (with your child’s permission) about any bullying behaviour that has happened to them either in/out of school or online, that is having a negative impact on them. The aim is to help you start a solution-focused conversation and develop an action plan with your child’s school/relevant organisation in order to support their wellbeing.
Recording Bullying Template 2 – to record information
This template will help you record relevant information about bullying situations and actions agreed with a school/organisation.
